Tuesday, July 16  

MIRI MESSAGE:  Father Issues ~ The Unraveling Continues~               

    
Grace is – touching the pain, feeling, without having to go into the trauma and story over and over again AND then this Grace delivers you a new canvas.  And it is a blank canvas….at last   you don’t have to live from your limitations, fears, traumas any more.  ….. you are ready to live from your True Divine Self – free, joyous, unlimited!

 

Beloved~  How can I create and hold a space of tenderness, wisdom, vulnerability and healing for you, if I haven’t gone in to the depths and my ‘stuff’my self…..with honesty,  allowing,  willingness,  and feeling the emotions that are coming up as best I can.  And so yesterday I was taken deep down into the shadows of my issues around control and the pain of having a dad who was of the generation of “I’m the dad so just do what I say.” …… of feeling invisible, not being truly heard, not feeling cared about or seen for who I was, not understanding what I was needing, not being allowed to take the time I needed for something…………fill in your blanks here. .  ((Please read on – this all does end with a very precious and wonderful gift!! And this is not about feeling sorry for me…..if you feel tender…..please feel tender towards your self if this is touching something in you))  

So yesterday I realized that a friend was pushing my control buttons…..I felt somehow like I was being pushed to do something I wasn’t sure I wanted to do……  And the Knowing was that this wasn’t about what was going on in the present moment with her.  There was something deep and ancient in me …….about feeling controlled and powerless, maybe helpless too…..being manipulated into doing something.  Ah, the victim…… but this is not the time for intellectual overlays.  This was a time to simply be present to exactly what I was feeling. 

I happened to be on the phone with a dear friend who was able to listen and I felt safe with her to go deeper……  I asked out loud – what is this controlling stuff really about and the next words that came out of my mouth were – oh, this is about my dad and his controlling, sometimes angry and insensitive ways.  My dad - I remembered our last conversation before he left this world…..  I was 15 and he was getting ready to drive back to work and he said – ‘Oh, you’re off next week – you’ll come into the store and help me out.  And I replied No……  And we argued back and forth…..him trying to control and enforce, me resisting and rebelling.  He left saying something like we’ll see about that.   Our last words….. He died in a car accident that night. 

Having done my share  of therapy, EFT and healing inner child work, as I was sharing and processing with my friend yesterday…… I was drawn to connect with the little girl in me.  There are many aspects of ourselves we each hold.  This one was the age of a toddler.  And  I saw/felt  how she was so sad, overwhelmed and distraught with my dad’s manner of parenting.   

And I saw how this ‘control issue’ has so deeply colored my life. “Please see me.  Stop trying to just control me. You don’t see me.  I am invisible to you.   Stop telling me what to do.   Stop being so angry.”  Seeing and connecting with the feelings and the deep struggles and pain around ‘being controlled and not being seen’… Deep sobs arose as I cried out AS that little girl – “see me, why don’t you see me, why cant you see me, …. “   I allowed the pain I had buried to simply come up, move through me, up and out.  And within maybe 5 minutes the crying and shouting was completed…..  

 

I felt the quiet inside of my self……I felt lighter and more expanded.  I know I had not just taken the lid off for a bit.  This was not a bandaid….I knew I had released some deep big stuck ‘trauma’ and allowed energy and light and love to flow once more.    

Grace is – allowing and touching the pain, feeling, just touching the hem of the garment…….without having to go into the trauma and story over and over again …..and allowing Grace to unravel the threads and do most of the healing~

For self preservation, the walls go up and my walls were constructed of I won’t let you in….because it’s too painful to let you in.  I could sense the swords pointing out from my abdomen and belly areas.  And in keeping the pain and the controlling person out, I saw how I also kept the love out,….. and all the energies of life could not flow through me, as they were designed to.  And I also became ‘the controller” of my life, of others…….  And that’s another ‘story’.    

We all have our coping mechanisms that ultimately limit us and we end up with unsatisfying patterns in friendships, work and partnerships….   We yearn for more, for something different……to feel connection and connected and we are so closed up….  These structures have served us to now.  And we are being given the Gracefilled opportunity to release and allow ourselves to be transformed.   

Grace is – touching the pain, feeling, without having to go into the trauma and story over and over again AND then this Grace delivers you a new canvas.  And it is a blank canvas….finally you don’t have to live from your limitations, fears, traumas any more.  ….. you are ready to live from your True Divine Self – free, joyous, unlimited!

 

More of my walls and structures were collapsing yesterday.  The swords were dissolving. The unraveling of this core issue around control continued today…..and I know and trust in my Being that I am being completely gifted with the opportunity to finish this, and to experience and embody Grace.  Just like you…….  And I am so grateful for the ones who trigger me, who bring up my pain and confusion……unexpected, yet by Divine Appointment…….so that I can allow, feel embrace my self and transmute. 

I wish to walk undefended, open and honest and transparent in this world….allowing my Light and Love to shine as brightly as possible.  I am so grateful for the opportunity to release what I have been holding through so many lifetimes.  Just like you…….

I wanted you to know a little bit more about me……   Our stories and pain are so tender.  My experiences and pain allow me to offer you Compassionate Presence and Deep Listening…..so transforming……  I’m here for you.  Please come and see me…..you can come for a private session if the Living Grace Workshop doesn’t feel right.   You’re ready to be done with holding this pain, I know.  I will also help you connect with the little girl/boy who has been living in fear and easily teach you how to become the loving, totally present, listening  and attending parent they did not have…..   Discover how listening, truly listening and seeing your inner child is what is needed for healing to take place.  Grace awaits

What would it be like to become undefended to the flow of life……

Live in yes……thank you……. transparent…….Loving Grace
I See You, and I AM in Love with You
Miri

 

 

July 14   Beloved~

Part 1 – Easy Ways to Help Prepare Your Self for the Waves      

Part 2 - We’re always in the waves. 

 

1- EASY WAYS TO HELP PREPARE YOUR SELF FOR THE WAVES - 

It doesn’t seem to be that these influxes of energies will be stopping any time soon.  You can strengthen your Divine Connection during the easier in between periods and this will help you when you feel like you are freefalling, as you are changing from the caterpillar to the butterfly, from the carbon based human to crystalline/Christ energies.  Everything is already here for us……   Shift your vibration; shift your attention. 

Here are some suggestions:

 

1- Do the things that bring you joy.  This will balance your energies and actually changes the chemistry in your body, from all the stress stuff to the feel good stuff.

2- Spend time in nature.  If you can’t get outside then just google nature images.  It works! 

3- Play with puppies, kittens, babies.   Notice how much better and lighter you feel.  It’s all vibration…..and this will change yours so easily! 

4- Do something different.  Break the chain, even if it is taking a different route to the store.  It’s just a habit, and it’s a neural pathway. Doing something different also puts you in a ‘different opportunities’ mindset.

5-Appreciate the good.  They say we are hardwired to remember the painful and sad.  We actually need to consciously stop and spend some time savoring the good.

6-It’s worth repeating – Be in Gratitude as much as you can whenever you can. Find things to be grateful for; they are everywhere.  This one practice will change your life in ways we call ‘miracles’.

7- Hang out with people who make you feel good.  “Re-examine what you have been told.  Dismiss what offends your soul.”  Walt Whitman.  Give your self permission to stop hanging out with people who don’t feel good to be around, who aren’t supportive, who actually bring you down.

8- Meditate

9-Cultivate listening to your body and what it wants.  Cultivate listening to your emotions – they are messengers. Emotions may not be Highest Truth…..but they definitely are truths and messengers for each of us.   Cultivate listening to you and following through with what you need. 

10-The ego/mind’s job is to categorize, to protect, to analyze incoming information….all based on its/your past experiences and your beliefs.  It puts things into categories of good and bad, safe or not etc based on its history.  Sounds limiting, doesn’t it. 

Some describe the ego as a verb – it is either grasping for something or rejecting and resisting.  Look – wow, it’s true.  Higher Mind is open, curious, allowing. 

Open to Divine Mind. Simply ask to open……

11- Ask for assistance.  If you believe in angels, ask them for help with whatever you would like. Explore your resistance to receiving and play with receiving instead of always being in the safe seat of giving.  Receiving is more vulnerable….and you don’t have ‘the controls’  …..  Trust me, I know this one so well……

12- Smile – it sets off a set of chemical reactions in the body that are the feel good chemicals.   Try it…..see if you don’t feel different.

13- I love the Access Consciousness questions – “What Else is Possible?  How Does It Get Even Better Than This?”  And I love ruffling my ego’s feathers when things are going very well, and !I ask the question  ‘How does it get even better than this’…..   Who do I think I AM to want even more and even better! 

14- Do a visualization or meditation practice that connects you with Source Energies, Your I AM or Higher Self.  Pause, breathe and rest in Presence/Awareness when things are easy and going well…..just 5 seconds : -).  I’ll happily email you my version of the I AM meditation.

15- Practice and cultivate BREATHING DEEPLY.  Stop periodically and take a few deep conscious breaths. Pause. All these will help you when things get sticky.

16 – Say yes instead of no!  Leap into something different and anticipate fun!

17- “I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears, or what they think.”  Rumi 

 “You are here for only one reason – to be your self.  Everyone else is taken”

18 - Share. Don’t compare.  You are a unique aspect of The Divine.  You are here to experience life in your own unique way and to share in your own perfect and unique way. No one else is here for the same reasons you are here – no one. Does the lily compare itself to the dragonfly or look to see how to grow by copying it?  

19 – Be Authentic, speak your truth and LET GO OF YOUR ATTACHMENT TO AN OUTCOME.

20- Cultivate tenderness and kindness towards your self.  This has been a most important and life/vibration changing master key for me. You’re doing the very best you can, always. 

21- Don’t believe your thoughts.  Another postit on my computer says:  “Really?”  Question your stories and limitations….  One of my favorites!  

22- You get to fill in this one.  I’m sure I’ve forgotten some and I would love to hear what you do that helps you that we can add to this list!!  Just email me at hedymiri@gmail.com 

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2- Miri Message:  WE’RE ALWAYS IN THE WAVES.    We are electromagnetic energy here in this form.  Electromagnetic and subject to all the electrical and magnetic energies around us.  We are always in the waves.  Sometimes the ocean is still and calm, sometimes gentle and sometimes the waves are huge and just knock us over… and we find ourselves free falling.  And we are also so much more than these electromagnetic energies……. And sometimes it is so challenging for the body, mind, emotional systems that we are. 

I always write to you in the hopes that what I share helps you see that you are not alone in your experiences, or broken..... allows you to open your heart more and more to you…..and see that transformation is possible, available and IS happening. This is a follow up to the miri message I sent last week…..where I wrote about feeling like I was being turned inside out.  Have a look if you’ve missed it. It’s posted just below this message.

It’s a week later and here’s what I see now about when the big waves come and I have that deeply unsettled feeling aka fear……when I feel like I have nothing to hold on to, no reference points, feel disconnected and fearful of the unknown and like I’m uncomfortably free falling (does free falling have to be uncomfortable – I guess so until it’s not)…...   It is only now that I remember the words of my teacher Adyashanti - the human is designed to pull away from, avoid, to contract from the unpleasant, disturbing, frightening uncomfortable sensations/experiences and to move towards and want to hold on to and repeat pleasant sensations/experiences.  SIMPLE – IT’S THE DESIGN. So next time…..can I remember to not be so frustrated with my self, to give more space to this natural response instead of having my usual internal dialogue about it, that includes the usual judgments and expectations for how I should be handling MY self through this onslaught of discomfort. Where did this expectation come from?  Really…..can you ever be totally prepared for when the waves come and knock you over?  Remembering……go with it….stop fighting the energies. ((A dear friend tells me that while I felt like I was being gently reassembled this past week…..she was still in the depths of the turmoil.  My compassionate loving kindness to you whatever place you’re in…..))   

It is only now that I truly understand the experience of the words – darkest before the dawn…..Darkest before the New Day, before the new energies take hold. This week has given me spaciousness and opportunity to deeply allow and more tenderly be with what is unfolding after last week’s crash and burn….. as I experience the phoenix rising.  What’s in me is a greater clarity and a determination to live as me – fully and freely.  Maybe that’s it – that simply – be me, and accept me fully and freely.  Allow and accept when I crash and burn, when I contract, when I’m in fear and accept and allow when I joyously soar. I AM all of this ….   I AM Consciousness/Awareness/The Divine and that’s only exactly what The Divine does with this human experience – allows it all, enjoys it all – because it is simply having experiences.  The Divine is here to experience it self in every way.  And while yes, we are The Divine......our design is to see and experience ourselves as the separate human self expanding and contracting.  

So it was a great week for me….I’m playing with the pot of gold after the rainbow of experiences.  I have greater clarity and perspectives, greater wisdom and my heart is opening ever wider to me and to every one : -) especially those who have triggered me.  More spaciousness, noticing and allowing without the commentary and judgment …. more present without the mind chatter …. More trust, more gratitude for everything and everyone- even the triggers…..and allowing the contraction when I think of the triggers! Oh, I love this deepening of allowing.  

I realize now that I was attached to a particular outcome after my honest conversation last week.  I did speak my truth; I was heard, and now there is seeing that I’m attached to things unfolding a particular way – I’m expecting my beliefs to be embraced as right and for my advice to be followed.  I don’t like seeing that.  I see my attachment.  And I’m just breathing and seeing and allowing……   

I have a postits on my computer  - one says “Naming it is Key.”  Being willing to say something out loud to a loving witness is often they key to our unraveling and dissolving that which has been held so tightly.  So thank you for being my witness.  I do see and acknowledge my attachments.  Yes, naming and acknowledging what is honestly true in the moment are key. 

And now….my knowing knows that by simply naming it, acknowledging it and allowing Grace to take care of it……Grace does most of the work to take me over the mountain where I will get to see how much of the attachment I have released.   It’s honestly already happening!!!  Our healing is multidimensional.  No need to ‘work it’.  Just honestly noticing, acknowledging, allowing what is to be there…….accepting and breathing and then go do something that feels fulfilling and joyous – like my writing these miri messages!  Thank you for being in my world.  I am here to support you during these shifts and changes. Please contact me to set up your session. I offer you Compassionate Presence, Intuitive Guidance and Energy Therapies including Reiki, Access Consciousness, EFT  to support your moving through and beyond your pains, struggles and stories, into the Light and Grace of your True Self.

Details coming for “LIVING GRACE and Every Day Miracles” Workshop  Sunday

July 28.     

I See You and I Love You….all of you.

Miri

July 10   TURNING THINGS INSIDE OUT

Beloved ~   Lots of intense energies have been coming through since the solstice (intense energies, this feels like such a familiar phrase :-) ) especially last week…. wowsers!  And I’m reminding you that each of us experiences the energies differently.  For some of you these latest waves were 'no big deal' and for some of us – it was just - Turning things inside out - What has been inside, in my subconscious, unconscious, buried, what I didn’t want to/couldn’t acknowledge or especially what I didn’t want to FEEL......was revealed……. And there was no ‘escape’.  And we were feeling the discomfort! 

It is our personal stuff that’s up for releasing and transforming, and also alot of what we are experiencing and feeling is the collective - humanity's discomforts turned inside out..... the fear, the uncertainty, anxiety, anger, rage, guilt, shame, pain, the limitations, dramas, stories and the traumatic experiences that we have not yet processed and moved through.  And we had no place to hide…..

Some had a clear understanding of what needed to be looked at or felt and some just felt uggghhhhh and grrrrrrrhhhh....

Whatever you've been working on or need to work on, acknowledge and especially allow your self to FEEL - the Light of Divine Love was shining on it and it felt uncomfortable.  Our pain was showing itself so that we would finally stop denying what we are feeling.  Our insides were turned out and revealed to us. 

So this is what I first wrote about my discomforts during the week:  For all ‘the work’ I’ve done…..I still notice the resistance, the no, the self judgment and the thinking that I should be doing something differently so this wouldn’t be happening, the ‘trying to fix’ and understand what my mind could not get clarity on……. instead of simply allowing the discomfort, leaning in and saying yes…...  I did not experience my self as the sun, watching deeply penetrating storms passing through, as I continued to be the sun….. aka resting as Presence Awareness.

And at midweek I said forget all this spiritual stuff – I’m just going to rent a couple of movies and chill….so chill and laugh I did.  Probably the best thing I could have done to get me out of my ego self and my human mind. (Oh yes….”now” I’m remembering the suggestion that doing things that place us in joy is the most beneficial thing we can do. Some part of me did remember that wisdom……)

And you know what…allowing me to write to you allows me to see what a BS story I have going about how I was during this discomfort. How I continue to ‘judge’ me as not there yet…… Grace and Love don’t require a 100% improvement and change of response in order to bring in the Grace & The Love.  TRUTH - I’ve changed a lot and so have you.  TRUTH – Through the turbulence I was less resistant, more feeling, more allowing, more self compassionate  – JUST LIKE YOU!  Yay us!  And the gifts of this latest wave of LoveLight are now rolling in for me -

As I look back to last week I see that as my insides were turned to the outside, as my ‘stuff’ was coming up….. as my vibration was shifting….. at the same time a GIFT of such TREMENDOUS GRACE was coming in… Of course during the turbulence I just couldn’t see what this was all for, what was being prepared behind the scenes.  It’s like climbing to the top of the mountain and passing through storms that block your visibility and make it uncomfortable along the way… and when it clears and you get to the magnificent vistas….it’s so worth it. 

At the end of this uncomfortable week I experienced what I realize now was such GRACE.  I had the MOST AMAZINGLY authentic conversation with someone who is very close to me.  This conversation had been rumbling around in me for a while and finally the pieces were in place for it to happen in the most magical and authentic way.  It just unfolded.  I was true to me and I spoke without the sugarcoating and holding back dance that I usually do….  The discomfort I experienced earlier in the week seemed to be shaking things up and setting things in place so that I could finally have this conversation which allowed me to bring forth my truth, my wisdom and my heart.. full on. The words just kept coming, the honesty just kept rolling out….

The release and the healing for me came from finally speaking my truth – AND being with someone who could hear me and receive me ….. though I wasn’t sure how they would respond.  There was a ‘fear’ that if I spoke my truths I would loose this person.  And the exact opposite happened.  Sometimes it works like this, and sometimes it doesn’t…. sometimes the relationship does complete. Either way it is Grace.

What was so different for me is that a part of me has danced very hard trying to figure out how to speak without offending or upsetting the other. And now I see I have recovered another part of me…..under the fear and the mask was my authentic voice, this voice that is clear, honest, vulnerable, wise and loving.  Now some of you may be surprised at how I have just described my fear and my mask because many of you reading this already saw a part of me that was authentic, wise and loving.…..and you also don’t know how much I have not had my voice – just like you.  It’s funny writing these Miri Messages.  I never know where they are going to end up. 

I learned well ~ how to mask my true voice, how to dance around what I really wanted to say because of all the fears, beliefs, stories and conditioning that were there ….. how to not feel what I was feeling.  I know some of you can appreciate my sharing about not being able to speak your truth.  And for others of you, no matter how honest you think you are – look again….. what parts of you are you still hiding?  Be Tender with your self please….remember you had to hide parts of your self for your survival, safety, for love……       And this week…..the rumblings seem to come and go….and I notice that I AM able to choose to rest in Presence more than ever before.  A worrisome thought arises – I breathe deeply and choose another thought …… It is a miracle, and it’s available for you.   Everything is an opportunity to return to Divine Alignment….everything, only everything.  More and more conscious choice is available…….. 

I am here to support you during these shifts and changes.  I offer you Compassionate Presence, Intuitive Guidance and Energy Therapies to support your moving through and beyond your pains, struggles and stories, into the Light and Grace of your True Self.  Please contact me to set up your appointment. 

Save the date for the next LIVING GRACE and EVERY DAY MIRACLES WORKSHOP – Sunday, July 28 ….and guess what it will be about:

THE GIFTS OF HONESTY & AUTHENTICITY – Speaking your Truth, Acknowledging your True Feelings

I See You and I Love You, all of you

Miri