Miri Messages

2/25  Sometimes I really don't like being vulnerable with you 

I too am one of those who – “Gives Too Much, Cares Too Much”

I used to think it was a wrongness about me - this caring too much giving too much..... it was so hard to say no.

I did not, could not give my self the same time, care, attention and kindness that I had been giving to everyone else.

I was busy giving to so many….and pretty much starving me. Familiar?

At some point it just stopped feeling so good. I found my self exhausted, frustrated with my kindness and inability to say no. I couldn't keep denying me while attending to everyone else. I painfully acknowledged all this, and then judged me.... I was not okay.

I used to think it was wrong to pay attention to me in a caring loving way, to make me a priority, to give to my self, make time for me, to pay attention to and honor my own feelings …. Society calls this selfish….. Familiar?

Then came the exploration into how this all came to be, the healing work for this avoidance of me…..this inability to receive…… this focus on another while denying me….. I’ve explored my psychological/childhood issues, my wounded child, and the healing came…..

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And now a different understanding is coming forth…..the middle way

BOTH ~ AND

This caring and giving so much …. it’s not a wrongness. It’s actually a very beautiful thing – to care so much, to give so much

Just think about it, feel into it…… It is the core of The Feminine – giving, caring, nourishing another, feeling another’s pain... As we engage with life and connect with others, we see how often we lead with our hearts.

We Lead With Our Hearts

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I am caring, a giver, too sensitive …and I was often told I cared too much. Tears come as I type this….. because I never allowed my self to truly acknowledge how beautiful it is to lead with my heart. This resonates so deeply in me….. I lead with my heart…..I have always cared......just like you.

It’s not a badness or wrongness, it can be difficult…..painful….. and yet, if you’re reading this, I am sure you are someone who naturally leads with your heart, who cares first….. it’s true – look…. It’s true – you care …..you lead with your heart…….you care so much…and it’s probably true that you haven't been great at setting boundaries and caring for your self, honoring your own feelings and needs

IT IS A BEAUTIFUL THING TO CARE SO MUCH. TO LEAD WITH YOUR HEART. TO GIVE SO MUCH IT IS A BEAUTIFUL THING TO CARE

Because you feel…… you feel the pain of another and your heart engages….and you want to help. Of course you do ~ thank you for doing what you do.

I grew up thinking I was 'too much." I must have sensed or been told I was too much or perhaps felt my energies as too much for those around me. I tried to hide, damp down, deny and fix my self, my pain….be what others needed….. and then when this didnt work anymore....when there was no more room under the rug or in the closet.......I began to explore so I could heal.... the traumas of childhood…..  healing the traumas of the innocent child.... and seeing that I was so needy for what I was giving to others …..I worked on all this…. Familiar?

I'm not sharing so you feel 'sorry' for me....I'm sharing so you might find your self too in what I write. We're not so different.... Please keep reading - there is something very wonderful coming out of this 'imbalance' and pain.....

Maybe you have explored your own patterns/issues around setting boundaries, being an enabler, can’t say no, the fixer, the giver who can’t receive…... Yes to all the negative labels we have for this ……FOR CARING

It is time NOW TO BEGIN TO BE IN ACCEPTANCE OF OURSELVES instead of rejection and stop buying into the belief that you need to change or fix you because you are ‘wrong’…because you are different and don’t fit in ……

In this period of deep transformation I AM discovering how to love and give to me, listen to all the parts of me. I AM truly falling in love with my self….with ALL the parts of my self, yes I mean ALL…..

*** I am not sharing this to talk about me.....the point is to share what is possible for you .... that you can move beyond how you see your self, judge your self, talk about and how you talk to your self.....how you BE in life....what are you creating? How are you vibrating out into the world?

Last Friday was a special day – I met my Shame…..and for the first time in my life - I met Shame with an open heart. I allowed, opened to her and loved Her, Shame. Wow and unexpected. It felt so natural.

No one likes it when we feel shame. We want to push it away, deny this feeling.

And the acceptance of shame just happened…… imagine….Grace……all the parts of ourselves we have been rejecting and running away from…. Imagine being able to turn back and say I see you, it’s okay, I know you’re here….you’re here for a reason….and you are moved out of your mind and into your heart. Your heart opens to shame or whatever else you have been rejecting and resisting….. instead of pushing it away.

It just happened….this turning to shame with an open heart…..That’s why it is called Grace. To just see shame tenderly with the softness of my heart.

Grace happens….. you can’t make change happen – it comes of its own accord. AND you can do things to prepare and nurture the field for its arrival.

This heartful acceptance actually bubbled up out of a very uncomfortable incident where I was experiencing lots of shame. I wasn't able to do much except be in the discomfort ... feeling so much shame... and then it shifted. ...and there was only tenderness and being present ..... What Freedom!

If I can do it – you can too! It is possible to cultivate Presence/resting in The Divine/I AM and open to these parts of ourselves with tender heartedness. I can help you if you're wanting this too….. this movement away from rejection and self loathing and self criticism into more acceptance, more of your tenderness for you….

It IS possible…..and dare I say, it is our destiny to begin now to open our hearts to ourselves, too all parts of ourselves! The loving, caring, tender heart is present…. We’ve given it to everyone else.

It is time now for self acceptance, for cultivating tenderness with our selves, with all of our selves....just one part at a time.

It may not be shame for you…..it may be jealousy, anger…… I grew up and lived most of my life as someone who was deeply sensitive yet also disconnected from what I was actually feeling if that makes sense. When we feel overwhelmed and helpless as a child, our coping mechanism is to disconnect, to push down and away these feelings that are overwhelming to the child. It is a healthy coping mechanism.

I digressed…..back to Giving and Caring too much about everyone else. It is true – while I gave to every one around me….alot….. I did not give that same care, attention or kindness to my self. Instead I was super critical of me and had a lot of fears around being authentic, speaking up…..

This shift back into the balance of caring for another AND being able to give your self acceptance, kindness and attention IS EASIER than you could ever imagine it to be.....because it is YOUR NATURAL STATE.

Below are the first steps to OPENING YOUR HEART TO YOU.

Notice, Allow, Observe. Be the Observer of your world….just watch, as if you were watching a movie. Don’t get into the drama or interpretation or judgements. Let the thoughts be in the gentleness of “Isnt this curious. Isnt this fascinating.” Just watching the movie. I like to use the word fascinating when I’m observing. It softens me and helps open and stay present …. lean into what is taking place.

Place your hands, one on top of the other, over the heart chakra in the center of your chest and say I love you to your self…..whisper it over and over….. maybe begin to rock back and forth or sway….

Notice – is this easy, is it difficult to say I Love You to you…. ALLOW any feelings to come up, allow them and be with them. Perhaps you’ll collapse into a puddle of tears and sobs. Maybe you feel nothing…….perhaps because you’ve had to wall up your heartful sensitive feelings. It’s okay. Just be soft with you.

Our world glorifies giving first. We are taught that it is holy to give...and give.... The programming and belief system (bs) is that taking care of your self, receiving is selfish……so when you want to take care of you, set boundaries, say no – there is a conflict. Because your healthy holy inclination is to attend to you…and the programming says don’t.

You may notice you’re uncomfortable because of this conflict between your true desires and natural movements for self care and your programming or belief systems (BS). Be curious …. Heck, I’ve been so uncomfortable being on the receiving end. I”ve been a super giver. Receiving is hard and makes me feel vulnerable……

Look at your childhood and see all the ways your parents, family, adults, teachers reinforced the notion of giving your needs and feelings away for another. NEVER you first…. And perhaps this became NOT YOU AT ALL ......

There is a call on this planet now... For Self Acceptance and Self Love

OK – I have to stop here. This was a lot to receive..... You're probably swirling with the info and the energies. I hope you will take a break...maybe come back and read it again....

I want to leave you with this. It has NOT been a mistake. Nothing - not you, your life, your ways, your choices and path. God doesn’t make mistakes. Everything unfolds in its perfect and natural order. You have NOT ever been Too Much of a Giver.

What if you have been a beautiful heartfull giver AND now it’s time to open your heart to your self. That's all AND we can do this.....because we see that we already know how to love......

This IS The Divine Feminine in Balance...in HER GREATNESS . She allows everything. Her unconditionally loving heart is totally open to all of the creations here.

The Divine Feminine is rooted in Self Care because she has the quintessential knowing that it is Natural AND Holy to care for one self….. Both Giving and Receiving. She replenishes her well and gives from this abundance. It is Holy, it is a holy necessity to care and give to one self.

Let us all, men and women, begin to nurture and embody this missing part of The Divine Feminine…… to understand that to say YES to Herself/Himself, to listen to and care about one self is a most Holy Act.

Cultivate resting in the Greater Part of you….The Presence/Higher Self/I AM / Divinity of You AND please allow your self to begin to care for you…..as She/He cares for her self and all creations.

Think about the examples you are setting for your children, your family and friends........both the girls and the boys. Would you be happy if your daughter treats her self the way you treat and care for you?

I AM here for you…..to support your releasing the old patterns, beliefs, struggles. I welcome your comments, questions. Please email me hedymiri@gmail.com

Sat Nam ~All IS Well ~Much Love
Miri

                                                       Miri Klements

is a Transformational Coach for
"Women and Men Who Give So Much, Care So Much"

But can't give themselves the kindness, care, attention they give to others

and know they just can't do it this way anymore.

Please contact Miri for your FREE Breakthrough Strategy Conversation. Get clarity. Stop beating your self up.